Nov 9, 2010

Scared

A couple of days ago I noticed a tiny bit of dark brown CM. It freaked me out a little but it was such a tiny bit I didn't dwell on it and almost forgot about it. Fast forward to today and I have seen brown-streaked CM every time I've gone to the bathroom (you can thank me now for all of the graphic detail). The only other time I have seen this happen is a couple days before AF. All I can think of now is that I knew being pregnant was way too good to be true.

I am supposed to have an u/s on Sunday (7w3d) to confirm a heartbeat, but I know I could probably go in tomorrow if I want. The truth is, I think I am more scared of having an u/s and finding out "the truth" and the anxiety leading up to it than I am to just wait it out and let nature take its course until my original appointment on Sunday.

I have just been resting in bed for the past few hours since I got home from work. Harriet, ever needy for affection, is keeping me company and enjoying lots of her favorite behind-the-ear rubs. I hate being in limbo and I am really scared. If I am going to miscarry, I just want it to happen already, but I pray that we get to keep our baby.

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